Decided to do something fun today, I was heading to work/study out because the weather is stunning today, here’s the items I took with me in my backpack.
•my Logo Modernism book cause I’m working on a self branding project.
•my medium moleskine sketch notebook
•Tom Henry’s The Accidental Creative (very useful read for any artist)
•my headphones (having Molly Nilsson’s song on repeat today)
•my macbook pro
I don’t care what time it is. Life is not letting me live lately. I am down as hell. Not watching movies, scrobbling 100 tracks per day like I’m trying to shut down my mind but I’m failing miserably. The only happiness I get is either from my little kitten who is incredibly attached to me or from reading. I am not talking to anyone as if speaking is becoming a contagious illness that I am fighting and insisting not to catch.
Got some new books, trying to learn and keep myself busy, also finally got the new macbook pro that I have been saving for, for almost a year, to be able to work on projects without the need to kill myself with the very little power I had. Moving my music and movies is a bitch though, only 3% of my stuff is on my new computer.
Alienating my existence by listening to the ritual industrial of Voice of Eye and the integrated music of Vladimír Hirsch, sometimes industrial/dark ambient music of Nocturnal Emissions, sometimes harsh power electronics of Alberich and IRM and other times I’m just sitting there crying to contemporary/neo-classical.
I am so over things. All things. I don’t want most of the things I wanted. Just want to keep my mind at peace, so be it if I wanted to stay home all night and stay in bed all day.
I haven’t been writing lately but I’m trying to slowly get back on the track to what I planned for this year.
It’s 1 am. It’s definitely still cold. I’m listening to Slowdive. It’s been a while since I shoegazed my night off. But today I have a good reason to. I woke up this morning and straightened my hair and wore a black velvet top with slim strabs, a leopard print jacket, a choker and a high wasted black shorts with black leggings and black boots. I didn’t notice the 90’s vibe until I looked in the mirror! I loved this look so much so I decided to revisit some of my favorite 90’s music and movies, naturally shoegaze was the first to come to my mind, I’m also planning to hear some Ride, Sonic Youth and New Order. But right now I’m enjoying Souvlaki. They are back together and I can’t wait to hear their new album I am praying it would be released some time this year! Haven’t heard a good shoegazey album in so long! Well except of course for My Bloody Valentine’s m b v and few bands I discovered about two years ago. Bethany Curve, Alican Blue, and Tamaryn would be the highlights, beautiful songs that come to my mind now are Frozen Sleep, Ann Illusion , and Violet’s in a Pool. Although Tamaryn 2015’s album was a huge disapointment cause I was so excited to hear a follow up for Tender New Signs that was extremely shoegazey and gorgeous, I dig it a lot and instead they released a mediocre pop-ish album that wasn’t bad but I just really didn’t care for at all. I’m still on my plan of watching at least one movie everyday this year. My favorite movie this week is Roman Polanski’s The Tenant. I knew I’d enjoy it but damn! I REALLY DID. Still thinking about it days after I watched it. Same surreal and terrfying elements as Repulsion, it didn’t top it for me but it was absolutely amazing. Anyway! I am downloading the new Tarantino movie and will be watching it in a few hours, heard so many great things about it. But right now, I’m finishing my abstract/ pattern self-portrait illustration. I wanted to do it right away on illusrator but ended up grabbing my sketch papers and going about it. I like doodling though so it’s alright. Trying out these new pens I got. Loving it so far the ink is flowing perfectly and the tip is pretty good. Maybe I should inveset more in these brand. Have been sketching a lot lately. This year I tried Leuchtturm plain sketch notebooks instead of moleskine it’s actually much better! Though I still sticked with moleskine’s planner. This week has been great so far, I dropped a bad habit but I’m afraid I will replace it with another. I have been dying for a cigarette the past few days. God help me. I’ve been wanting to go back to working out because I haven’t been lately. Will start tomorrow cause I just cut two jeans to shorts and I need to wear these bad boys!! Studying is going well, still reading my history book and ordered two more books from Amazon a week ago should be expecting them in a mail in a couple of weeks. Can’t wait to read them. I will be starting my Logo Design class soon too so Logo Modernism came in handy the past two weeks. The movie just finished downloading. I’m off.
It’s 9:00pm. It’s cold. I’m laying in bed. I bought this book for a history class, loving it so much, very easy read, quiet informative a very visual at the same time. I’m listening to my favorite Boards of Canada’s album for the first time in a long time. Haven’t slept much the past few days but I’m functioning perfectly. Yesterday was my birthday and I didn’t feel bad like everytime. Am I getting wiser? Am I getting more comfortable being myself? I’m still quiet aware of what I lack but I’m not angry anymore. I’m working on my flaws instead of dwelling in depression. I have just discovered Simon Scott’s solo work and I’m crazy about it, It ranges from drone to ambient electronic with some elements of shoegaze, in other words: perfection, him and Evan Caminiti are definitely my new obsession, have been listening to them repeatedly the whole month. don’t you just love it when you discover music that change you in a way? God I love it! Tim Hecker released a new album, it got leaked right after he announced it, first I wanted to download it but then decided to wait and order it so I added it to my cart with the rest of records I wanted to buy. I’m also saving up cause I need more power, I love my laptop but I need a new one. But also kind of torn between spending the cash I saved so far in the book fair or wait for next year and double them. Either way I’m winning. It’s funny how four years ago my life was almost empty and now I’m so busy I don’t even have time to catch up with my best friend but then again who am I kidding? I have always been a loner. My favorite songs at the moment are Radiance , Forever Dilating Eye, Flood Inn , and Near Dark. I found a new site called letterboxd, it’s a bit like Goodreads but for movies, so nice and helped me sort my movie library, found so many amazing titles that should be an interesting watch, made 3 lists till now. I decided I want to watch at least one movie everyday this year. I dig movies and they are a source of inspiration, why the hell not? Favorite movies I’ve seen lately are The Lobster, Possession (which fucked me up big time and I’m still thinking about till now but it made it to my all time favorite movies) and Beyond the Black Mountain, the last made me discover Sinoia Caves, that’s one thing I love about a good movie.
Maybe I should do this every once in a while, my days in pictures, and rant for a little bit about whats going on.
It’s 9:00pm and it’s cold. But I am warm. I’m alright.